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Phuket life
Some places capture your heart while others don’t quite make it, and it is often hard to tell exactly why. I tried to explain this to a colleague in Australia who asked why he should travel to Phuket, and as I rolled into Patong on Saturday afternoon I thought I may have made a grave error of judgment in recommending it to him. Is this the place for a meticulous man, one who knows nothing other than a sense of order?
Patong is tawdry but appealing, an edgy, dusty beachside town on this Thai island, filled for most of the year by Australian, European and Scandinavian holidaymakers and men looking for a short term wife. The infrastructure is third-world, ramshackle, the authorities’ questionable and everything seems quite chaotic, so there is every good reason not to like it, but it is not quite that simple. There is a charm, Thais are delightful, their Buddhist way of life peaceful, the weather is warm, the scenery spectacular, and among the chaos there are the little quirks of amusing logic.
As in New Zealand, driving is on the left hand side of the road, except that is for the cross roads joining the one way Beach and Ratu Thitt roads where the opposite applies. Driving on these streets is done on the right hand side as saves right-turning vehicles from cross-crossing each other when coming on and off the one way roads, which is all quite sensible really.
The locals can also be also wonderfully hapless; there are signs up around town advertising a comedy night featuring Arj Barker, better known as Dave from Flight of the Conchords. Trouble is that none of them say where the show is on, neither does the ad in the Phuket Gazette, and it took an internet search to find the venue, the local Mercure Hotel.
A fact that cannot be escaped is that Thailand is still a poor south Asian country and Phuket has made its way selling its soul to tourists rather than continuing to mine tin from its rich, red soils. Being poor means there are two quite defined economies and the two rarely meet; the high-end multinational tourist corporations and property developers are all here but there’s not too much evidence of a decent trickle-down. A taxi driver’s salary is about $6,500 Baht or $NZ280 a month, the girls at the Kiwi Bar between 6,000 and 8,000 Baht; all work at least 12 hours a day and get only one or two days off a month.
The standard price of an hour-long massage is between 250 and 300 baht, no more than $13, and it would be fair to assume that the masseuse gets only a small portion of that. Each day, down at The Mango Tree, each staff averages just one massage in the off-season, on some days none. For the remainder of the time they just sit around waiting.
Then there are the vendors who supply the locals. Mostly weary looking, older people, they trudge the back streets lugging baskets supported by cane poles, or pushing hand carts with food and drink. Some squat on the sides of the roads cooking from primitive looking burners, and it’s hard to imagine how they make a living selling bits of chicken to locals at about 10 Baht, or forty cents, a pop.
This may be holiday island, but for those who work here it is a tough life.
One change from the last visit is the long-awaited re-opening of the Hard Rock Café and, while it might be passé, an inspection was warranted. The same menu, the same memorabilia and the same type of chatty, up-beat staff as every other Hard Rock Café, but what is here is a fine collection of The Beatles Monthly, the fan club magazine of the Liverpool foursome, dating from 1963. Now that is rare.
Another very clear favourite is Phuketwan, an internet news journal edited by ex-pat Alan Morison who we met on our last visit. Alan is not one to back away from expressing strong views and takes no prisoners, local or tourist, when the inclination takes him. Many of his stories arouse heated blog discussion, this week one about the funeral of a “Scamdinavian” vagrant. Alan’s clear view is that the authorities, both Swedish and Thai, should have stopped her repeated visits during which time “she begged from Thais who could not necessarily afford to give, she borrowed from others with no intention of paying back the money, and she quite deliberately did not pay her bills”. In response to being called hypocritical by one reader Alan responded: “It's such a shame that neither you nor the Thai or Swedish authorities reacted appropriately to our accurate and pointed headings between Christmas 2009 and Ms Strand's death. Now, you find a voice. Now, you shoot the messenger. Well done, Simon”.
In today’s wire feed, Alan is on the rampage against corruption. “The crookedness …handicaps virtually every aspect of honest governance and justice, leaving Phuket's hopes of even competing with other international destinations permanently crippled.
“Rip-offs also abound. As fast as the beautiful beaches and coral reefs turn on the tourists, the extortionate prices and everyday deceits turn them off.
“This is not a purely Thai problem: the expats who exploit the graft are even more evil, perhaps, because they know there are workable alternatives."
“How long has it been since someone on Phuket was charged with corruption? We don't know the answer, but we doubt that there has been a memorable instance this century.
This is typical of Phuket and Phuketwan and we love it, but I have emailed my colleague suggesting the safety of a resort hotel. Patong might just be a bit wild for him.