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Daughters for the return home
Australia is agog. The question exercising the minds of every television and radio channel reporter and it seems every viewer or listener across this entire continent is apparently whether the two-year engagement between underwear model Lara Bingle and Australian cricketer Michael Clarke is on the rocks. The lesser question is whether Clarke can ever be captain the green and gold’s as a result of his return from the New Zealand cricket tour to be with his fiancé following the release of a nude cell phone photo of Bingle taken by then married AFL bad-boy footballer, Brendon Fevola while having an affair with her some two years earlier. It seems almost unfathomable, but the hapless Bingle, rather than the naughty Favola, seems to have become public enemy number one, and it hasn’t helped that she has reacted by giving the finger and swearing like the proverbial trooper at paparazzi and reporters that have stalked her out over the past week. Fevola, meanwhile, appears to be almost off the hook.
During what has turned into a media frenzy, in one television interview alone this evening, Bingle’s celebrity manager, Max Markson, when asked about the relationship between Bingle and Clarke, gave the no-comment response on no less than twelve occasions. Now that is consistency and to divert attention further, Max then began to sing in response to questions.
It has been a bad year for Bingle, over the New Year break a $200,000 Aston Martin brought for her by Clarke was stolen and it may just be a reflection of the macho nature of Australian society that she is the one vilified during this current drama. It’s not all bad though, if Clarke and she split, Bingle gets to keep their two Pomeranians while he gets the Staffy.
There has been no such media speculation or even the slightest frenzy about two former world travellers after recent confirmed sightings of Kaelene in New Zealand’s Christchurch and Rotorua while husband Marty remains in Australia. After slipping quietly back in to her country of birth Kaelene has resumed work, like a recidivist, at the National Distribution Workers Union and is likely to remain there awaiting a major lottery win. Coupled with Marty suffering the indignity of working in Australia, the return home signifies that, unfortunately, this leg of the world adventure may be over and a brutal and unpleasant form of reality is setting in. If asked, their agent will reply to questions on the state of the marriage, explaining that the trans-Tasman separation is no more than a geographical accident of fate.
That said, the New Zealand news is every bit as entertaining as Australia with reports that Whanganui Mayor and shock talkback jock, Michael Laws, has been regularly calling police to his home to referee matrimonial discussions, while former National member of parliament and children’s commissioner Roger McClay is in a spot of bother for allegedly double dipping on expenses claims for charities with which he is involved. These things really couldn’t happen to a more deserving couple.
Back in Australia, there is a brutal reality for one of our old favourite characters, Richard Pennicuik, the tree man of Thornlie. After more than ninety days perched up the gum tree outside his house in an attempt to stop the Council chopping it down, Pennicuik’s days aloft are clearly numbered. The Council has served him with a notice threatening a $5,000 fine if he remains up the tree when the loppers come calling and a further $500 for each and every day he defies the earthwards order.
It may be as well, for Pennicuik has become something of a target for local hoons who have entertained themselves at weekends by shooting pellet guns and throwing eggs at him and, most recently, setting fire to the Australian flag draped around the tree trunk. Now that is unpatriotic.